The Broken Radio's Playing Hope
by pronqs
Summary: "I don't know if I'd call it love. Can you call it love if it feels like hate most of the time?"


hello okay so i've had this idea for a really long time now and its a marauders-era fic because who doesnt love the marauders and its gonna be a loooong fic at least 30 chapters and this is actually the most i've ever written even though its really less but yeah maybe leave a review if you like it (leave one even if you don't i could do with the constructive criticism) enjoy!

**Prologue**

At first there were whispers. Whispers of a war brewing; of an exceptional wizard turned towards the Dark Arts who was now fixed on purifying the wizard race. All anyone knew about him was that he was powerful; dangerously so, and he was slowly gaining more power, over the Ministry, over the wizarding world. They knew that he called himself Lord Voldemort, and once he decided to come after you, there was no getting away. You couldn't run, you couldn't hide, and no amount of protection would keep you safe. Not from him.

The days when everyone seemed to be weighed down by fatigue, and even the wind was dry and hot, blowing listlessly through drought ridden towns were the days for hushed whispers to pass between old friends in lifeless conversations, injecting a flutter of ephemeral fear in both the speaker and the listener; fear that would be forgotten as soon as the topic was dropped.

But then there were the days when no matter how hard you tried, nothing could keep you warm from the cold that seeped into your bones, into your soul, weaving in and out of every crevice in your mind, encompassing your entire body; the days when there seemed to be an unnatural hush on the world, on those around you, the kind that lasted the entire day, the entire week at times, the days when everything felt hazy, almost as though every action you performed was through a thick layer of smog that descended all around you, threatening to suffocate you; those were the days when the whispers did not seem very hushed.

The day of Evangeline McKinnon's disappearance was one of the former. The sun irradiated upon Godric's Hollow with all its might, its rays harshly driving away any hope the locals had for a surprise renewal of last week's rain. There was not a cloud in the sky, nor a bird, almost as though they too had been driven into hiding from the unrelenting heat. It was a slow day and everyone was either sleeping, or sitting in front of the fan, windows thrown wide open in a desperate attempt to cool down. No one dared venture out in the heat, except those who could benefit from the solitude and silence it almost unintentionally provided.

And so, in the blistering heat and deafening silence, Evangeline McKinnon fell in a flash of red light, unconscious before she hit the ground where she lay completely and helplessly alone. The assailant looked at the thin stick in his hand with amusement. It was curious; he contemplated how something that looked so weak could wield such immense power, the power to harm others, the power to _kill_. It never failed to escape—and somewhat mesmerize—him that he was one of those who had control of _and_ deserved the immeasurable power the wand provided—unlike the Mudbloods who had, he felt, stolen their magic, and the blood traitors, who had absolutely no respect for their gift, willing to fraternize with filthy Mudbloods. He sneered at the thought, and then wondered if the others had done their jobs as efficiently as he had. Replacing the wand in his pocket, he lifted up Evangeline McKinnon in his arms with more than slight revulsion, turned on the spot and vanished.

**An interrupted breakfast**

Will McKinnon knew immediately something was wrong. His parents had received an owl in the middle of breakfast and after reading the letter it carried—and burning it—they raced out of the house as fast as they could, distractedly shouting rules for Will to obey while they were out. That was the first indication of something seriously off. Will's parents could be—and had been—described as a lot of things, a favourite being eccentric, but not distracted, _never_ distracted. They did everything, no matter how insignificant, with their complete attention dedicated to it, and that they should have left during breakfast was another indicator. Audrey and Ronald McKinnon led a life where every single minute was scheduled and breakfast always promptly took place at 9am, when the whole household was expected to be awake and active. They loved both their children very much and spent the required amount of time with them, just enough so that they did not feel neglected, and then some, which was unexpected considering how they seemed to be nothing more than eccentric workaholics to the public. That they should leave in the middle of breakfast was another indicator of something that did not fit in with their daily schedule. Nothing and no one, no matter how important, had ever been allowed to disrupt their morning meal—or any meal for that matter—it had always been that way, and to see his parents behaving this way was, to say the very least, slightly disturbing.

After they had changed into respectable clothing in a record time of 10 minutes, Audrey and Ronald McKinnon left the house; she with a quick kiss on Will's forehead, he with a slight nod towards him, both of them avoiding each other's and Will's eyes. He hadn't read the letter, although he had recognised the owl after a few minutes of wracking his brain. It was from the Vances, and what made his stomach clench tightly with fear was that his younger sister was staying with the Vances for a few days. And so the nearly-17-year-old was left standing in the hall with countless situations, each one more nightmarish than the last, running through his mind, none of which even slightly bore a resemblance to the horrific reality of the matter.

**Owls and Invisibility Cloaks**

A large tawny owl flew in through the window Lily Evans had magicked open using her wand, which virtually hadn't left her hand since her birthday in January. She ran to it just as Petunia let out a scream.

"Can't you tell the blasted things to land in your own room? And stop using _it _in broad daylight! What if the neighbours see?"

"I've _told _you Petunia—" But exactly what Lily had told her sister was drowned out by the sound of footsteps; three teenage girls were running down the stairs. In all appearances they looked completely normal, but appearances can be deceiving, for the three girls were witches. They had come over after Lily had bombarded them with pleas for help; her sister's wedding preparations were driving her crazy. Her friends had risen magnificently to the occasion; the day before they had showed up on her doorstep, dragging behind them trunks full of deliciously—or so it seemed to her—non-Muggle things.

"I don't see why the owls need to fly in through our _sitting room window _in _the middle of the day_, when anyone in the neighbourhood can see! What would the neighbours say?" Petunia soon-to-be-Dursley said again, glaring at her sister.

The anger, however, was soon replaced by bemusement and concern. Lily had opened her letter and was now staring at it, white as a sheet with a look that distinctly resembled her friend Yvonne's expression when confronted with a cockroach.

"Lily?" Petunia said tentatively, moving towards her cautiously. Just then, the three girls burst into the kitchen, wearing cloaks and looking as pale-faced and stunned as Lily did.

"D-did you…?" The shortest of the three—Marlene—said, her blonde hair pulled up into a bun, waving around her own letter. She looked the most distraught of them all and seemed to be holding back tears.

Lily nodded slightly, the letter slightly shaking in her hand. The tall brunette—Dorcas—moved towards her and whispered in her ear. Lily nodded again and then looked up at the girls.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Petunia said, glancing from Lily to her friends.

"W-We have to go," She said, looking at her friends with a half-scared, yet determined look. Her friends nodded.

"What?"

"We have to go," She said, and she sounded much more sure of herself than she had a few seconds ago.

"But—what are you talking about? Don't be mad, Vernon's coming soon to help us pick out the tablecloths!" Petunia's voice rose when she saw Lily putting on her cloak and moving towards the door.

"Tuney, you wouldn't understand. We have to go _now. _Tell Mum not to worry, I'll be back soon,_" _And she opened the front door and walked out, followed by Dorcas Meadowes, Marlene Richards and Mary MacDonald. Mary shot Petunia an apologetic look and followed her friends.

"Lily!" Petunia said almost hysterically, rushing to the front door.

But Lily had already disappeared and Petunia was left standing in the doorway alone as oblivious to what her sister was doing as she had been for the past 5 years.

"Terrible, absolutely terrible business. She was almost 16, you know. The others were the same age… And the McKinnons are absolutely devastated…" Joan Potter said, while frying an egg.

"But what would You-Know-Who want with three underage wizards? I suppose there's a slim chance they're still alive though, isn't there?" Charles Potter said, opening up the Daily Prophet and looking slightly worried.

"Exactly, it doesn't make sense. There's not even enough evidence to suggest that they were taken by You-Know-Who, but these are dangerous times, who else could it be?"

An unusually grim mood had settled on the occupants of Number 25, Halloway Street. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had been one of the first people to find out about the disappearance of Evangeline McKinnon—and the other two wizards, which had been reported that very morning—and as they both worked at the Ministry, they had both received owls informing them of the disappearances mere hours ago.

Just then, a messy haired, tall bespectacled boy burst into the kitchen, grinning wildly.

"Mum, Dad, guess who's here?"

And in walked a tall handsome boy with long black hair.

"Er…good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Sorry to barge in like this and potentially ruin your Sunday, but, er, do you think I could stay here for a few days?" He said with a nervous smile.

Mr. Potter looked good-naturedly surprised and then looked at his wife. Mrs. Potter hesitated only for a second, and then smiled warmly.

"Of course, Sirius, you're always welcome here. We'll just have the house-elves make up the guest room for you—"

"He can stay with me," James said, looking positively thrilled at the thought.

"Don't be ridiculous, James, he'll be more comfortable in his own room—"

"I don't mind, Mrs. Potter," Sirius said, mirroring James' expression.

"Call me Joan, and oh very well, if you're sure," She said, smiling exasperatedly.

James and Sirius high-fived each other and bounded out of the room, looking as though Christmas had come early. The door shut behind them and it had only just swung shut, when it opened again.

"By the way, we were thinking of popping 'round to the McKinnons, you know, see how Will's holding up," James said, and despite his casual tone, it was obvious that the topic was the farthest thing from it.

"How do you know?" Mr. Potter managed to utter after a few seconds of shocked silence. It had only just happened that morning, and they had been planning on keeping the news from James, for fear that he would be worried. He had found out—of course he had, it was _James—_Mrs. Potter had a shrewd suspicion, by using that Invisibility Cloak of his.

"Really, Dad, it's 1977, not the 15th century, or whenever you were born,"

"James—"

"Gotta go, we have to get Remus and Peter on the way. Love you, bye!" He said, and flew out of the kitchen, grabbing Sirius by the arm on the way. They were out of the house before Joan Potter could shout after them to stay safe.

**A few days later: Dark and dangerous times**

Despite the gathering of eleven people that sat in the McKinnon living room, there was a tension-wrought silence. There were 9 uncharacteristically quiet teenagers spread out across the room, and the only sign that they were still alive was the constant movement of their eyes and occasional fidgeting. The fear and worry was its own entity, breathing into the lungs of every single person in the room, injecting them with anxiety, and a very faint underlying sense of hope. The creak of a gate was heard, its usually unnoticeable sound amplified a hundred times in the silence, its sound signifying the arrival of their long-awaited guest. Will McKinnon jumped slightly, and Mr. and Mrs. McKinnon jumped up immediately and went to welcome their guest. The remaining occupants of the room exchanged slightly hopeful and excited looks, though the majority of their adolescent faces were still dominated by fear. Smiles slowly started to break out on their faces; though every movement was careful, as though they were afraid to get their hopes up. The Minister, for that is who the twelfth guest was, entered the room, followed by Mr. and Mrs. McKinnon and every head turned towards him, hoping, _praying_ for good news.

"I regret to inform you that we have found Evangeline McKinnon's body, along with two others, bearing signs of torture, in a shack off the coast of Little Hangleton,"

The change in the atmosphere was drastically impeccable. All the careful excitement and hope that had slowly been building up rushed out of the room, leaving in its wake nothing but devastating hopelessness. Where before there had been faint hope, there was stunned silence and an ugly feeling of sorrow. Will immediately stood up and walked out of the room, the slam and lock of a door being heard soon afterward. Audrey McKinnon collapsed against her husband, not so much as muffling her sobs as muffling her screams. Ronald McKinnon froze; his arms automatically wrapping around his wife, his face turning stark white and his eyes, instead of filling with tears, emptied of all emotion. Marlene Richards' face scrunched up and she buried her face against Mary MacDonald's shoulder, who immediately hid her face in Marlene's hair, hugging her tightly. Dorcas Meadowes slumped back against the couch she was sitting on, looking shocked. Lily Evans mirrored Dorcas' reaction, her eyes flicking up and around the room, before meeting the gaze of a familiar pair of brown eyes that were filled with hurt and—Lily realised with faint surprise—anger, staring at her through a pair of glasses. The three boys sitting next to James Potter all had their faces buried into their hands, and Lily's eyes glanced at James once more before filling with tears. They raced down her cheeks before she could stop them, burning when they flowed down her cheeks and she shut her eyes against them, hugging herself as if hoping to squeeze all the pain out of herself. The Minister began to speak again, offering his condolences but eventually left to go inform the other families of their loss.

Lord Voldemort could not have known that when he flicked his wand to create an example that he would cause eleven hearts to break; neither could he have known that along with the cracking of hearts, he would embed a sense of determination and a will to fight in the souls of eight of the nine teenagers there. He could not have known that in the ninth soul, fear and a grudging sense of respect, of self-preservation, a will to stay alive would be born. These were dark and dangerous times, and what was more important than staying alive?

**One month later: The Hogwarts Express**

Will McKinnon was just going through the motions. He had wondered how he would act around everyone—as the last time he had been around more than two people, he had left their company as soon as he could and locked himself into his room—but now it came to him as easily as breathing. He was completely numbed out to everything around him, so much so that he had bumped into at least half the school on his way to the compartment and didn't feel anything. So far, five people had sought out his compartment, just to ask him how he was doing. None of them had offered to join him in his compartment, which was empty except for him. Nonetheless, he was impressed. They had actually made the effort to ask the meaningless question even though they already knew what he would be obliged to say. He sat in the left corner of the empty seat, as if shying away from someone, only there was no one there. Normally, he would have sat with his friends and maybe his sister, but nothing felt normal anymore. He doubted whether there was anything he'd done and anywhere he'd been that wouldn't remind him of Evangeline. He couldn't even look at Emmeline Vance who had tried to talk to him as soon as he had come onto the Platform. He didn't blame the Vances though, how could he? It wasn't their fault that she had decided to go for a walk. It wasn't their fault she hadn't returned. No one could've predicted it.

The attack had seemingly been random, except for a few outstanding details. All three of the victims had been from pureblood families. They had all been underage, and their closest friends had been Muggleborns.

The only way they could have learnt so much about each of them was if they had a spy at Hogwarts, as none of the victims had been particularly close to the others, and that was something no one wanted to consider, even as a possibility. Another thing that didn't make sense about the attack was that the victims were so young. None of them had been older than 16, and Will could only guess that the Death Eaters had wanted to make an impression on the young wizards. Stay away from Muggles. Keep your bloodline pure. It seemed they believed in the phrase "Children are the future". He let out a laugh as an image of You-Know-Who handing out pamphlets in favour of the wizarding young passed through his mind. He almost turned to tell Evangeline who would find it as twistedly funny as he had, but no one was there.

He let out a choked laugh at his own stupidity. The laughter bubbled to his lips before he could think about it, and soon he was choking out laughter. He had forgotten; forgotten for a moment that she wasn't there anymore, that she would never be there again. He had found that he rather preferred laughing to crying in terms anything and everything; but he also found that things often did not go according to his preference. Grief it seems reveals strange things about you, most of which you'd rather remained concealed, because he was quite sure that he was going mad.

He curled up farther into the corner of his seat and soon, he didn't even know when, but his quiet, hysterical laughter died down. It was replaced by something much, much worse; loneliness. Evangeline had always ridden the Hogwarts Express with him. Now she was gone, and in her place, a feeling of unbearable loneliness settled down. He didn't know how he would live his entire life without his younger sister, the one person he had sworn to protect at all costs.But he had failed, failed horribly and it was his fault, all his fault…

Although the Marauders had had a busy summer, not one event stuck out like the one that had resulted in the demise of one of their closest friends.

They had heard about what had happened, of course they had; everyone had.  
The Daily Prophet had had a field day when they had got hold of the news and had not failed to use the news to imprint into the mind of its readers that 'You-Know-Who is now a very serious threat and it is disappointing to see our very own Ministry of Magic's lack of satisfactory action against this dangerous dark wizard who came into prominence almost a decade ago'.

James had been one of the first to know; with both his parents working at the Ministry and he had immediately owled his three friends, making sure his owl delivered the letter faster than it had ever done. He had then spent an entire hour fighting against a raging instinct to break the Statue of Secrecy and go and hex anyone and anything he could find. He could barely believe it_. Evangeline,_ she was harmless, for Merlin's sake—except when she was angry— but why her?James and Sirius,—who had shown up minutes before—had then picked up Remus and Peter, and together had gone to the McKinnons' house.

Sirius had been at Grimmauld Place when James' unusually black and white patterned owl had tapped on his window. He had been horrified, of course, but his mother had proudly stated that "the filthy blood traitors had it coming to them, consorting with Mudbloods, desecrating the name of their fathers, they shouldn't have expected anything less," and then, she had gone on a tirade about how the Dark Lord had the right idea, purifying the wizard race, removing the tainted parts. His _angelic _brother had spoken up about how Sirius was rooming with 'the McKinnon girl's scummy brother' and then Regulus had received a bloody nose which had effectively ended any further civilized conversation. His mother had turned on Sirius then, for laying a finger on his _saintly _brother, calling him the bane of her existence and didn't he care at all about the shame he inflicted on the family? Or how it broke her heart every time she saw her oldest son fraternizing with the wrong kind of people? To which he had replied that it would truly be a tragedy and he would be sorry if only she had a heart to break. He had had enough. He had Apparated from the kitchen up to his room, silently sending up a thanks for finally being of age. He locked his door, packed haphazardly and had only just grabbed his broom and pushed his window open when his mother had blasted the lock off the door and run in. He had leapt onto his broom and kicked off. He was gone before Walburga Black could even begin to scream insults after him, breathing in the early morning sun, a scent that smelt strangely of freedom to him. This was why he had used a broom instead of Apparating, to feel the freedom in all its might. He had gone to the Potters, who had been surprised to say the least but had graciously welcomed him to stay nonetheless, and hadn't returned since. The old hag and her poorly replicated broken heart could get run over by the Knight Bus for all he cared.

Remus had been naked, asleep on the ground when his father had unchained the barn door and informed him that an owl had arrived for him. His father had not so much as given as much as thrown the letter at Remus, along with a blanket and some clothes to cover himself up with and then backed away quickly shutting the door behind him. He had had only a minute to feel ashamed when he saw the letter was from James and tore it open. His happiness and curiosity extinguished completely when he read the dreadful news. He had wrapped himself in the blanket, too busy feeling shocked and confused to feel ashamed of himself for scaring—for that is what Mr. Lupin's reaction had been—his parents and taking away their chance at a normal life. He had recovered slowly, putting on his clothes, picking himself up off the ground and walking into the house, his mind clouded with thoughts of Evangeline.

Peter had been trying to get on his new broomstick without pulling a muscle in his leg, when his mother had rushed out of the house carrying a large black and white owl, which he immediately recognized as James'. He had gasped out loud at reading the news and felt something stirring in the pit of his stomach. It had taken him a moment to realize that it was fear. Peter had then tried to ignore the feeling—Gryffindor's didn't get scared—and headed inside to write a reply and tell his parents about what had happened.

The four boys were now sitting in the same compartment, discussing their summers but staying as far away from the topic of the attacks as they could. It was better to act like nothing had happened, as though it hadn't been just a month ago that they had found out about Evangeline and her absence wasn't as important as it was. None of them wanted to talk about it, because they knew that they would then have to go and see how Will was doing, which to put it lightly, would be awkward as hell. After Sirius finished repeating the story of how he had left his house yet again, the Marauders felt silent, each of their thoughts eventually turning towards the attacks and what they meant; for the wizarding world, for Hogwarts, for everyone.

Sirius, his eyes focused on his wand, which was emitting bubbles, spoke up after a while.

"The attacks…"

"Padfoot shut up" Remus said immediately.

The boy nicknamed Padfoot complied for exactly 10 seconds and then opened his mouth again.

"D'you reckon Will's alright?"

Remus groaned and then—

"It's none of our business really; we don't want to seem nosy. Besides, we saw him a month ago," Remus said.

"Yeah, but he's our _friend,_" Sirius protested.

"He's our _roommate."_ Remus said with an air of finality.

"Who we've known for 6 years, I'd say that's reason enough to check up on him,"

"Yeah, but…he's got enough going on without us sticking our noses in,"

"I think Remus is right…" Peter said, looking slightly unsure.

Sirius looked over at James, who had uncharacteristically remained quiet, a pleading look on his face. James was looking thoughtful.

"Padfoot's got a point, he _is_ our friend and we can't pretend she wasn't…" Silence fell when he indirectly mentioned Evangeline. Then, Remus groaned again, Peter sighed and Sirius looked triumphant.

"Nosy gits," Remus muttered, but he got up and walked out of the Compartment. The others shot grins at each other and followed him.

"Did you see how absolutely_ ravishing_ Aaron looked today?" Dorcas said, with a faraway look on her face.

Marlene Richards actually looked away from the window and shot her a disbelieving look.

Lily Evans wrinkled her nose slightly and the bubble she had been inflating with her wand burst. "Aaron? Aaron Macmillan?"

"Yeah! He looked really _really _good. I'd shag him,"

Mary MacDonald looked up from her book and scrunched up her face, "Are you serious, Dorcas? He's a _Hufflepuff_,"

"Mary, there's nothing wrong wi-" Lily began, looking slightly indignant.

"I'm completely serious, thank y-" Dorcas said at the same time.

The compartment door slid open, but the girls ignored it, their minds occupied by the startling new development they had just learned of.

"She's not Sirius, I am!" A falsely indignant voice cut off both Lily and Dorcas' replies.

The girls all looked up, and were not as surprised as they should have been when they saw who had just entered the compartment.

A boy with long dark hair was standing on the threshold on the compartment wearing a wide grin. He was followed by a tall, thin boy with extraordinarily messy hair who wore glasses and an identical grin.

Lily tuned out to any further conversation.

"Afternoon, ladies. Dorcas, did I just hear you talking about how shaggable you think my dear cousin is? How _absolutely ravishing _he is," James Potter said, pretending to fan himself with his hand.

Dorcas turned bright red and said, "Oh fuck off. The Potters and Macmillans aren't even that closely related; besides he's a damn sight nicer than you,"

The other girls suppressed grins and avoided each other's eyes.

"What do you two want, anyways?" Mary said, with a look that, James thought, would put Professor McGonagall to shame.

Sirius spoke up, "Let's see…" He adopted a look of faux thoughtfulness and then said, "Well, I want to get Andros the Invincible for my next Chocolate Frog card, I want the new Cleansweep, although I might trade that in for a flying motorbike, I want to shag Audrey Hepburn, I have a pretty good idea what James wants but—"

James' eyebrows shot up but he didn't say anything.

"As thrilling as it is to hear about your innermost desires, Black, I meant what you could have possibly bothered _us_ in the middle of the afternoon for," Mary said exasperatedly.

"Ah, yes, that. Have any of you by any chance seen McKinnon?"

The atmosphere in the compartment changed immediately and drastically. Marlene whipped her head around at the sound of the name, having gone back to staring out of the window, and Lily snapped back into herself. Dorcas and Mary both inhaled sharply.

The silence stretched on for a few minutes, and Sirius' grin had just begun to slip when Dorcas cleared her throat and said in what was obviously supposed to be a normal voice, "Honestly, why don't you leave the poor boy alone? He's got enough going on right now without you two butting in!"

A highly irritated voice shouted out; obviously from outside the compartment, "I_ told _you, Padfoot,"

"Shut up, Moony!" Sirius shouted back almost carelessly and then returned to the conversation, as though the interruption hadn't happened.

"Ah, but you see, Meadowes, that's where you're wrong. We feel it our obligation to butt in, seeing as how we'll be rooming with him for a year more; not only that, but seeing as how we've all grown so close over the past few years, we want to genuinely know whether he is alright; we're not heartless you know,"

And although his tone was light, they all heard the sincerity behind his words, even Remus and Peter who were outside the compartment, seeing as it was too crowded. There was silence for a few seconds, all of them undoubtedly reliving the last time they had seen each other and then Mary said, "Yeah well, that's very decent of you and what not, but we don't know where he is. Why don't you just check all the compartments?"

"Thanks for the advice Mary, we'd've_ never_ thought of doing that," James said, rolling his eyes, and walked out of the door, saying bye and throwing a grin that mirrored his earlier one at them.

"He's in Compartment E, have you checked there?" Marlene said quietly.

"Not yet, will do, thanks Richards," Sirius said, shooting her one of his signature smiles. He then followed James out of the compartment.

"What are we even gonna say to him?" James whispered to Sirius frantically as they stood a few feet away from Compartment E. Sirius thought about it for a moment, but then realised that the idea to come see McKinnon had seemed more appealing in theory.

"I dunno, sorry for your loss or something,"

"That's probably the worst thing you can say to him right now," Peter said.

"And why would that be, dear Wormy?"

"He's probably heard that enough, besides, we said that to him the day he found out,"

Sirius shot him an exasperated look.

"Yeah but—"

"We'll wing it okay? We'll go in there and ask him how he's doing or something," James interrupted Sirius and shot him a look. It clearly said, _I thought you knew what you were doing, you git._

"Alright, alright, but that'll get really awkward really fast," Remus said, sounding weary.

"Then James can bring up Quidditch or sex or whatever else goes through his mind," Sirius said, shooting a grin at him.

James looked horrified and slightly indignant.

"That'd be bloody insensitive! And I'll have you know that the workings of my brain are probably too complex for you to understand, Sirius,"

"You're right; there're probably a few thoughts about Lily Evans as well; now_ that_ is something that's too complex for me to understand. What'd'you propose we do then?"

Peter sniggered slightly while Remus looked amused and James sighed, deciding to ignore the comment about Lily.

"Quidditch is only Plan B, alright?"

Sirius grinned and James took a few steps down the empty corridor and slid open the door to Compartment E.

The door to Compartment J slid open and Matthew Abbott walked in, looking as though he hadn't a care in the world

"Dorcas, Lily," He nodded towards them, before frowning slightly, "Where's Marle-"

He was cut off by Mary, who had jumped up; walking towards him and kissing him deeply. Behind them, Dorcas mimed gagging. Lily merely lifted up her eyebrows and looked at them.

"Get a room, why don't you?" She said in a clearly amused tone.

They broke apart, not looking embarrassed in the slightest and Matthew grinned at her over the top of Mary's head.

"Good to see you too, Lils"

"Call me that again Abbott and Mary'll be stuck with a carnally inconvenienced boyfriend," She said, casually twiddling her wand between her fingers but she smiled in spite of herself.

"Right, well, I'll take your advice then. Bye girls," He said cheerfully, as though he had not just been threatened, and taking Mary by the hand, he walked out.

"Use protection!" Dorcas called out behind them and she heard faint laughing in response.

Marlene walked in just as they left, carrying an armful of Chocolate Frogs and looked at their retreating figures curiously.

"Where's Mary going?" She said, turning towards the compartment.

"To find an empty compartment to shag in," Dorcas said, rolling her eyes. Lily sniggered and Marlene _almost _laughed. She walked in, sliding the compartment door shut behind her.

The door to Compartment E slid open and Will immediately sat up, trying to look as alert as he could. James Potter stuck his head around the glass and said, "Alright there, McKinnon?"

He was then pushed into the compartment by another boy behind him, who Will immediately recognized to be Sirius Black and Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew followed him. They were only four boys, but the way they moved made it seem as though the whole school had decided to accompany them. They all sat down and made themselves comfortable.

"Mind if we join you?" Sirius added as an afterthought after he had taken his place opposite Will.

Will smiled faintly and returned his gaze to the window. The Marauders discreetly exchanged concerned looks.

"So, uh, how are you…feeling?" James said unsurely, and he swore he heard a silent collective groan from all of them.

A very uncomfortable look passed across Will's face.

"I'm…alright, I s'pose," He replied.

They all gave him cynical looks, but Remus nodded. He had noticed it as soon as he had entered the compartment. The look in Will's eyes was one he had once seen every time he glanced in the mirror. He knew how Will felt, seeing as how he had been the victim of the same feeling since he had been bitten. He also knew that Will would never admit how he felt out loud; at least not to them. It felt odd seeing him without Evangeline, who, despite being a year younger, had always been very close to her brother and he couldn't even imagine what it felt like for Will. He didn't want to think about Will McKinnon, a boy who had always been happy, as a boy who was suffering from the same ailment that had struck Remus at the same time as the bite: loneliness. Will McKinnon did not deserve to be lonely, he deserved to be happy and surrounded by people who recognized that fact.

Everyone was, as predicted, awkwardly quiet for a bit, until James blurted out again, "Did you see how the Cannons were absolutely smashed by the Tornadoes, though?"

Sirius shot him a grin, Remus looked away, trying to suppress a smile and Peter snorted. If Will noticed their unusual reactions, he didn't say anything but looked slightly surprised, before recovering and commenting on how the Cannons really needed a new Seeker. This began what promised to be a long discussion and Will sent up a silent thanks for the, however temporary, relief the Marauders had brought him from his own thoughts.

Lily was lost in thought as she headed down the corridor to the Prefects Compartment. She had forgotten for a moment that she was Head Girl until Dorcas asked her why she was still sitting there and didn't she have a Prefect Meeting to get to? And then she had rushed out of the compartment. When she had got the badge over the summer, she hadn't felt as happy as she should have, what with everything that had been going on. Today, just like during the summer, she had had more pressing issues on her mind. Honestly, she hadn't known what she had expected. She hadn't expected all of them to adjust to their lives so quickly; neither had she expected them to act like nothing had happened over the summer. She hadn't exactly expected them to sit in a circle making each other friendship bracelets, but she had expected a certain amount of…what exactly, she didn't know. But she definitely hadn't expected indifference. Everything had changed. _Everything. _How could they act as though nothing had? How could they act as though everything was normal and they hadn't all been together a month ago mourning the loss of someone who had meant so many different things to all of them? She had been here only once before, and she despised it. She despised how people didn't like talking about their losses, because that wouldn't help anything. She would know—

"Shit!"

"Watch where you're going, you arse!"

James Potter had just barrelled—more like been shoved—out of the compartment she had been walking past. He turned and made an obscene gesture at the four boys who were now laughing raucously. James held his hand out to Lily, who had fallen on the floor but she ignored it and brushed herself off, picking herself up off the floor.

"Sorry Evans, just heading to the Prefect Compartment,"

"Oi, wait, Moony, don't you have to come too?"

"Crap!"

The boys inside the compartment laughed again as they watched Remus Lupin almost trip over his own feet in his haste.

Lily glared at him before turning around and continuing her walk towards the Prefect Compartment. She didn't realise what he had said until she reached the compartment.

They caught up with Lily just as she reached the Prefect Compartment and Remus managed to stutter out a greeting through his wheezing. Lily spared him a smile, and moved out of his way as he went into the Prefect Compartment. She then turned to James.

"_You're _Head Boy?"

"Ah, I was wondering when you would notice. Seems like my troublemaking days are over," He said, tapping his badge and smiling.

She lifted her eyebrows, heavily doubting that and silently wondering whether the world had turned inside out. However, Dumbledore having finally lost it seemed more probable.

"Yeah well, I'm Head Girl," She said, sounding rather lame, even to herself.

"I noticed. Congratulations, by the way,"

"And you,"

"Seems like we'll be working together then, compadre," He said, grinning his shit-eating grin again.

"Seems like it," She said, trying not to grimace hoping against all hope that this was just another elaborate prank.

"I-"

Just then, the door opened and Remus stuck his head out and said exasperatedly,

"Stop flirting, the Prefects want to meet their new Head Boy and Girl,"

Ignoring the comment, they both walked inside, James shoving Remus a little on his way in.

"Hello, er, I'm Lily Evans and I'm your new Head Girl," She said, sounding uncharacteristically nervous and unsure under the gaze of three years' worth of Prefects. She looked at James expectantly.

"Right, I'm James Potter and I'm the Head Boy," He said. He, in turn, sounded unusually authoritative.

Compartment J was filled with the snores of Dorcas Meadowes' cat that was really unhealthily fat for its age. It had fallen asleep around an hour after the boys had interrupted them and hadn't budged since then. Marlene Richards was still staring out of the window which now showed nothing but impenetrable darkness, having barely moved all throughout the journey, and Mary was still…otherwise occupied. Dorcas had been sneaking glances over her book—a _Muggle_ one, that Lily had suggested—at Marlene Richards the whole day.

She had rehearsed what to say in her mind over and over again, but was still wary of approaching the topic of Evangeline with Marlene. Although they had all been close to Evangeline, Marlene had been closest to her, even out of all the friends she had in her own year. Her death had struck Marlene the hardest. No one was safe, the Death Eaters had now made that clear; they had no mercy, not even when it came to underage wizards. They had all actively avoided any mention of their summer beyond the first of July, as though according to some unspoken agreement, but there had been small slips throughout the day, the most memorable being when Sirius Black had nonchalantly mentioned the name, although Marlene excitedly turning around to tell Evangeline about her summer but then realizing that no one was there, was close behind it. Both instances and many in between had been followed by long silences.

Dorcas glanced up from Mr. Darcy declaring his love for Elizabeth and was sent into slight panic mode when she saw silent tears making their way down Marlene's cheeks. She sucked, _really _sucked at being comforting. She took a deep breath and put her book down. She opened her mouth and forgot what she had rehearsed, hour after hour and instead, she got up, and hugged Marlene.

Marlene tentatively returned the hug. They hugged for a few minutes in silence, and Dorcas didn't realize exactly when, but then she was crying as well. Grief, it seems, was contagious. Never before had Evangeline's absence been as blatantly clear as it was then.

**Hogwarts**

The Hogwarts Express slowly came to a standstill. Its whistle signifying that it had finally reached its destination, and slowly the corridors filled up. Students were yawning, talking, and laughing left and right, relieved to finally reach the school. It was a slow process but eventually, everyone got off the train. The first-years were taken by Hagrid and the older students all walked towards the carriages. Marlene, Dorcas and Lily, who had returned from the Prefect Meeting a few minutes ago, as well as Alice Walker, a Gryffindor fifth-year all got into one and it began moving. James, accompanied by Sirius, Peter, Remus and Will all got into another and it began moving towards the castle. Mary and Matthew got into a separate one, hurriedly making themselves look presentable, along with two Hufflepuff seventh-years. All of them except one would look back at this moment in a year, and silently remark how fortunately naïve they all were to think that the carriages were moved by nothing at all.

Inside the Entrance Hall, it was warm and bright; the atmosphere was comfortable. The doors to the Great Hall swung open and students swarmed in, making their way to their House tables.

The Sorting took what seemed forever to the hungry students and passed without event. The Start-of-Term then Feast then appeared in front of them.

Lily Evans had only just started on the roast beef when she felt something wet and soggy hit the back of her head. She turned around, ready to hex whoever it was.

"Oi, Mudblood! Your blood-traitor boyfriend's been writing you love letters!" A Slytherin who she recognised as Anthony Travers jeered at her. She didn't even bother picking up the dripping piece of parchment that had hit her and was now on the floor. She knew she could threaten him as Head Girl but it seemed a crime to waste her first detention on him. She saw Severus Snape flush bright red and take out his wand, pointing it at his fellow Slytherin and turned away before she saw anything else. No one else seemed to notice what had happened, except James Potter who, looking enraged, half-stood up but then decided against it and sat back down.

After the Feast had been cleared, Dumbledore rose up in his purple floor-sweeping robes and cleared his throat. The conversation died away immediately.

"Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! First, I would like to introduce the newest addition to our staff, Professor Lynch, who will be taking up the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts. Mr. Filch also asks me to remind all of you that magic is strictly prohibited in the corridors, and Dungbombs, Fanged Frisbees, Stink Pellets and various similar objects will be confiscated upon sight. He has the full list of these objects, which he has told me now contains 348 articles and if anyone would like to go peruse it, it is in his office. I would also like to introduce this year's Head Boy and Head Girl, James Potter from Gryffindor and Lily Evans, also from Gryffindor," Loud applause rang throughout the Hall as the students recognised them and the mentioned stood up. After they had sat back down, Dumbledore smiled kindly and then paused for a moment, as though considering his next words very carefully.

"I would also like to take a few moments of silence to commemorate the memory of Evangeline McKinnon, Agatha Trisk and Liam Fairway, who were all exceptional wizards," Silence fell over the Hall, disrupted by occasional whispering and students craning their heads to catch a glimpse of Will McKinnon—who had now turned slightly pale and at whom people were now pointing. Dumbledore cleared his throat after a while and continued with a grave tone,

"As everyone sitting here knows, Lord Voldemort and his followers have been steadily gaining power. In light of the tragedy that took place over the summer, the security surrounding the castle has been tightened and I advise you all to carry your wands and," Dumbledore's eyes glinted slightly and James could've sworn that he looked at him over his glasses while saying the next part, "any other articles that could provide you with extra protection around with you at all times. I cannot stress enough on the danger of the situation at present, and I would like you all to abide by any and all rules, particularly the rule of being out of beds at night and the rule of staying away from the Dark Forest. I urge you all to put aside your past differences and unite during these perilous times, as unity and loyalty in the face of danger can more often than not, save a life." His stare seemed to pierce into the souls of all who were sitting there and then he said, quite cheerfully in contrast with the speech, "But now, your warm beds await you. I shall hopefully see you all looking well-rested and ready for lessons tomorrow. Goodnight!"

The sound of the scraping of benches filled the air, and everyone flooded out of the Hall. During the bustle of students making their way out of the Hall, no one noticed James—who had managed to slip away from Lily—Sirius, Remus and Peter shooting each other remarkably shit-eating grins and hiding behind four different pillars.

It was an unusually silent departure; with everyone's mind on the remarkably grim welcome.

That is, until, a sound like a blast resonated throughout the Entrance Hall, sending the few teachers left behind in the Great Hall running towards the throng of students. Most of them, however, relaxed when they saw that the students were craning their necks upwards and staring with awe at a lion, a badger, an eagle and a snake, all made of what seemed to be different coloured smoke, running around a few feet above their heads. The animals all opened their mouths at the same time and a chorus of voices, that, even in the din, were unrecognisable to only a few, began to sing in different tunes.

_Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, _

_Teach us something please, _

_Whether we be old and bald, _

_Or young with scabby knees, _

_Our heads could do with some filling, _

_With some interesting stuff, _

_For now they're bare and full of air,_

_Dead flies and bits of fluff,_

_So teach us things worth knowing,_

_Bring back what we've forgot,_

_Just do your best, we'll do the rest, _

_And learn until our brains all rot._

The lion and the snake were the last ones left singing, both of them trying to outdo each other's last word, going higher and higher, until they both simultaneously burst into shapeless wisps of smoke—although the Gryffindors would later swear that the lion had gone on longer. The eagle and badger took one last lap around the heads of the students and then they too dissipated into smoke. The students began to applaud and cheer, all hints of sleep disappearing within seconds. The teachers joined them, and a few students would even swear up and down, later, that they heard Dumbledore praising the amazing magic. No one was bothered in the least to try to find the culprits, and when the noise had quieted down, the teachers once again instructed the Prefects to lead their respective Houses back to their Common Rooms.

The Marauders slipped out from behind the pillars they had been hiding behind during their smoke show, for lack of a better word, and Remus immediately ran to catch up with the line of Gryffindors, who he should have been showing up to the Common Room. He was greeted with smiles and pats on the back by those who had recognised his voice, and James heard him say, "We were going to make the lion chew up the snake but Harry Oswald's a decent Slytherin and we reckon it's a bit early to declare open animosity with them so…" and his voice faded away as he turned the corner. James decided that Remus and Lily would have it under control and slowed down.

Sirius and Peter were walking slightly ahead of him and he said to them distractedly, "You guys go on ahead, I'll catch up…"

Sirius shot him a curious look but ran ahead and joined the Gryffindor line with Peter.

James had stopped outside the now shut doors to the Great Hall. He waited until the Gryffindor line turned the corner and then pushed open the great oak doors. They swung open with not so much as a creak and James crept into the Great Hall. It was completely empty, just as James had hoped it would be. He stood in the doorway for a few minutes, looking up at the enchanted ceiling, which was unusually, but nonetheless welcomingly clear, the stars seeming to wink down at him. Being back in the castle was so refreshing, and all the tension and sadness he felt about the summer seemed to lift from his shoulders as he stood there in the almost completely dark Great Hall. Maybe it was part of the castle's magic, he mused. He turned around slowly, pulling the door close behind him and immediately bumped into something—more like _someone._ It was like déjà vu.

"Shit!"

"What the hell, Potter!"

"Sorry, sorry, come on…" He extended his hand towards Lily like he had on the train and just like before, she ignored it and picked herself up.

"What were you doing?" She said, frowning slightly at him.

"Hmm? Nothing,"

She didn't believe that for a second.

"Nothing, my ass,"

"What were _you_ doing here?"

She flushed pink.

"_Nothing. _I just wondered where you were, seeing as how you were supposed to help me show the first-years to the Common Room," She said, trying to sound angry. She began walking towards the staircase.

"C'mon, I thought you and Moony'd have that under control," James said, jogging to catch up with her.

"_Remus _and I did, but you're Head Boy!"

"Alright, alright, sorry, I'll do it next time,"

Lily rolled her eyes and began climbing up the stairs. James walked beside her in silence, but within seconds they were bickering again, and that's how they parted on the stairs to their respective dormitories, exchanging sarcastic comments rather than loving goodbyes.

Less than a year from now, they would both look back at this time and wonder how stubbornly stupid they could have been, to not see what was staring them right in the face.


End file.
